The search for Truth is yours alone

In your spiritual search, you might have read a lot, met a few Gurus or attended several satsangs. You may have discussed these ideas with friends or family members. If you believe in a God, you might be praying each day. You might try yoga, meditation, chanting of mantras. You might have read about chakras, kundalini or mystic powers that one can achieve through such practices.

Whether you realize or not, your effort becomes coloured with ideas and beliefs that have stuck in your mind during your search. At some point, you have to realize that the search is entirely yours and that the discovery of Truth will also be yours alone. A Guru can provide guidance, but you have to discover and experience it for yourself.

Why not step back, for a moment leave aside all that you have learnt and begin with the basics, starting from what is your personal, direct experience.

• You know you exist or 'I am' without requiring any external proof.
• You know 'I'm aware', again without any proof required.

Now do this quick exercise, focusing on your own experience and yours alone.

• Close your eyes. You see nothing, no objects, shapes not even your own body. A person might stand besides you and tell you what things look like, but you can neither see the person nor any thing else. This is your direct experience.
• Close your ears as well. All external sounds disappear. Now, neither are there any visible forms nor any external sounds. The person who was standing besides you is neither visible nor audible.
  
• Notice you are still aware when two of your senses are closed. Is it inconceivable that if all your senses were shutdown, nothing physical would exist for you, but you would, and so would your awareness ? Would you be aware of the existence of the chair or bed you are sitting on if your sense of touch was shutdown as well?
  
• Through all this, don't you have awareness of your thoughts and the very strong belief that when you open your eyes and ears, all things will come back into your awareness?

Now pause and think for a moment. When your senses shutdown, there is still 'I am', there is still awareness, there is still a mind as known by awareness of your thoughts. However, the physical world, all people and objects with it, and your own body are non existent. This is your direct experience.

This should make you wonder that the 'I am' is in no way dependent on the physical world or your body. This 'I am' is witness to the the physical world when it appears, i.e. when your senses are active. People, objects and places appear in awareness when the senses are active and disappear when the senses are shutdown.

Does this not give you a sense of 'I alone am' and that everything appears and disappears in Awareness, which always is ?

If 'I am' is not the body, it could be the mind. Now, you conclude you have a mind by its nature, that is thoughts. Thoughts are not continuous, but come one by one with gaps in between. But your sense of 'I am' is quite constant and continuous, even when your mind is still. 'I am' is there when your breath stops for a while between inhaling and exhaling. It is there between heartbeats.

What exists as 'I am' between thoughts ? Or between heartbeats or between breaths? Self-enquiry is the path to discovering the true Self by focusing on what is always there with you for most part, the sense of 'I am' and Awareness. Everything else appears and disappears from Awareness.

Self-enquiry is to focus on what you always are - Awareness, and not the objects in your perception. Instead of focusing on objects that you see, hear, touch, taste or smell, turn inwards and stay in awareness. Instead of focusing on thoughts, turn inwards and focus on awareness of the thoughts.

This is the shortest path to what you seek.

The Direct Path

"There is the existence of a Supreme or Absolute that can not be described in words or grasped by mind. At best, one can describe it as Sat-Chit-Ananda or Existence-Awareness-Bliss, or, simply refer to it as 'That'. 'That' alone Is." This Absolute or Supreme being is not an object of perception, but the very experience.

Now, you don't have to believe it, indeed, a Guru telling you about the saying in Vedas, 'Tat Tvam Asi' or 'THAT you are', is merely a pointer for your consideration. One is supposed to conclude only by experience that 'Aham Brahmasmi' or 'I am Brahman', Brahman being the name of the Supreme Being in Indian philosophy.

The exploration of this idea is called Self-Enquiry in Vedanta, trying to understand who or what the 'I' that we use several times a day is. The two relatively recent gurus who have been considered as self-realized are Ramana Maharshi and Nisargadatta Maharaj. Both give pointers to the process of self-enquiry, one can use either or both as it resonates with one's understanding.

Think

Nisargadatta advised one to focus on the one indisputable fact, 'I Am'. To understand what 'I am', one has to eliminate all that one can not be. Then, one should go beyond 'I am' until the conclusion dawns that 'I am That'. To do this, he is known to have said, 'What you perceive, you can not be, since the perceived can not be the perceiver'.

• You are certain that you have a body because you can perceive it.
  
• You infer you have a body by perception of your senses.
• Without perception of your senses, you wouldn't have been aware of your body or the world.
  
• You perceive all your thoughts.
• You perceive every single feeling, emotion etc.
• What you perceive you can not be, since the perceived can not be the perceiver.
• 'I can be nothing that I can imagine myself to be, since every idea, notion, concept, thought would be instantly perceived by my Self.'
  
• 'I am, but nothing that I can perceive'.
• 'Even the sense of 'I Am' is perceived by my Self'.
  

Ramana Maharshi advocated holding on to the 'I' thought , tracing it right down to the source of where the sense of 'I' arises from, and staying with that source.

• You begin with the intent to find your true self by asking yourself 'Who am I?".
• You hold on to the 'I' thought, keep paying attention to it.
  
• You may get distracted with something.
  
• Ask yourself, 'To whom did it occur?'
  
• The mind replies with a thought 'To me'.
• Ask yourself ' Who am I' ?
• It may help if to begin with, you negate what you can not be with what Nisargadatta taught, that you can not be what your perceive.
• Realize that there is no answer to 'Who am I', there is only silence. Abide in that silence, keep paying attention to the feeling of 'I'.
  

Putting it into practice
There isn't really a practice or a method beyond self-enquiry, but some preparation will surely help. The first step is to create a doubt about your established beliefs. See the next post.

Questioning your beliefs

Preparing by questioning one's beliefs

• Take the common belief of reading. One might say with surety that 'I am reading this article'. But what does one really mean by reading? There is the perception of the sense of sight, which simply conveys the changes in contrast, pattern and colour. The mind assigns a meaning to the assembled picture, based on childhood learnings about which patterns mean which letters of English alphabet. The mind further assigns meaning to groupings of these letters, words and sentences. To one not familiar with the English alphabet, these would remain interesting light patterns. So, what one really means in saying 'I am reading this article' is that 'I am aware of the sense of sight and the mind assigning a certain meaning to what is perceived'.
• If one says 'I'm watching/hearing a person sing', what one really means is that one is aware of the sense of sight, sense of hearing and the meaning being assigned to the combination of the two, creating the impression of someone singing. For one not knowing the language, the song is devoid of any meaning except the music.
• One concludes one is speaking by seeing/perceiving the movement of the tongue and the lips, vibrations in one's vocal chords and perceiving the sense of hearing that one's mind puts together as meaningful speech, or the notion that 'I am speaking'.
• Notice how the senses in themselves do not convey any meaningful information, it is the mind that makes up the meaning.
  
• One is aware of the world only by one's senses, for if one were not, the world would not exist for him.
• One knows that one has a body, only by perceiving it through one's senses.
• When one is asleep, the senses shutdown and there is no world from one's perspective, nor is there any happiness, worries, relationships, space or time. There are no parents, spouses, children or enemies either.
  
• When one 'wakes up', the sense of 'I am' awake comes back, the senses function again, and the world with all its problems exists again.
• The world only appears when your body appears.
  
• You are always aware of all these perceptions, the awareness of seeing, hearing, thinking, smelling, tasting.
• All these indicate that you always exist as awareness, irrespective of the transient nature of any of the sensory perceptions or thoughts, feelings and emotions. That awareness is always with you, while the world around you, including your body changes constantly, but the sense of 'I' never changes
  
• Only the changeless can be aware of the changes. You are certain that change is the only certainty in the world, but how would you be aware of that unless there was something changeless from which the sense of 'I' emerges ?

Practicing in daily life

The Practice

So, how does one put this into constant practice ? By turning one's attention inwards, to the sense of 'I am' and that which is aware of the 'I am'.

Note: To make up your own mind, or to learn more about the subtleties of Ramana Maharshi's teachings, you may want to read the book 'Be As You Are' by David Godman or 'The Path of Sri Ramana Part One' by Sadhu Om.

Quite simply, "Turn your attention to the source of the 'I' thought".

' My hand doesn't tell me it's mine, I feel it is. The body doesn't tell me it's mine, nor does the breath nor heartbeats, yet I feel they are all mine. Thoughts keep appearing in my mind, they don't tell me they are mine, I believe they are, that I'm thinking. Where does this sense of I, me, mine arise from ?"

The objective is to discover your true self, therefore your practice begins with an inquiry about your real self, 'Who am I?'

• Find some quiet time for reflection. For starters, just ponder, "I keep referring to everything, including my body, senses, thoughts and mind as mine, then who am I? What is the source of this sense of 'I, me mine'? Where does this sense of 'I' arise from ?
• Ignore everything else that distracts you, keep your attention on this 'I' thought, the source from where it arises. If you keep paying attention to this, you'll find that all other perceptions will start fading away.
• If you get distracted, you can turn inwards again by thinking 'I got distracted, but where did this feeling of 'I' arise from ?
• These helpful thoughts should not be repeated over and over again, you'll find it'll become less and less necessary with practice, just keep your attention on this sense of 'I', where it arises from.

At any other time during the day :

• You can keep this attention on your Self, the sense of 'I' by asking yourself at any time during your normal daily routine - "Who's experiencing all this ? Who's aware of all this" ? Follow this with paying attention to where the sense of 'I' arises from. It may help if you defocus your eyes as you think the above, defocussing automatically draws your attention away from the objects in your perception.
  

Other possibilities

At a specific time :

• Initially, find some time for self-inquiry. It may help if you begin with reminding yourself that you can not be what you can perceive and use it to negate the body, senses, thoughts or the mind.
• Take a breath and pause for a moment. Pay attention to the feeling/being when the breath has stopped and stay with that feeling. Notice that 'I am' when the breath has stopped.
  
• Breathe out and pause for a moment. Note the feeling/being when the breath has stopped and stay with the feeling.
• Notice that this feeling is the same whenever the breath has stopped, whether after breathing in or breathing out.
• Continue, notice how that being/feeling stays in the background even when you are breathing. Pay attention to this feeling/being instead of the breath. As you do, you'd notice that your breath fades into the background.
  
• Be aware and abide in that feeling/being as it appears in the gaps, do not focus on the breathing.
• If your mind wanders after a while, bring your attention back to the pause between the breath and then keep paying attention to that.
  
• Abide in the awareness of your being, for as long as you want.

Subsequently, you can continue being aware of your being even during your normal daily activities

• Defocus your eyes, turn your attention inwards by the single thought, "All of this appears to me, all of this merely indicates that I'm aware".
  
• When walking, stay with the awareness that appears before each step is taken and after, and notice how this awareness stays with you between the steps as well.
• When repeating a name or mantra in your mind, say 'Rama, Rama', be aware of the being/feeling in the gap between the two repetitions until you stay with that and then ignore the chanting.
• When your mind seems extremely active, i.e. too many thoughts, remind yourself that you are aware of the awareness of thoughts, turn your attention to the pause between the breath as outlined above.
• Focus not on the objects that you see, but your awareness of the seeing. Or hearing etc.
• Remind yourself that all objects in your sensory perception merely prove that you are awareness. That means, turn your focus away from the objects and into the fact that you are aware.
  
• Be aware of your being whenever possible, abide in it.
• Know that you are only awareness, not any object that you perceive, i.e. your body, senses, thoughts or mind.
• This is not an intellectual exercise, i.e. thinking, but trying to abide in the feeling of being. Helpful and guiding thoughts should be kept to a minimum.
  

Frequenty Asked Questions

Frequently asked Questions (FAQ)

It is very important that you think about these questions and answers from strictly your own perspective.

It doesn't make sense to me, why should I bother ?
It doesn't have to, but bookmark or print it for later in your life. There is a time for everyone.

Why is Awareness my most natural state ?
What about you is completely effortless? Even breathing takes effort. Stop your breath and you are still aware. Shut your ears and you are still aware. Close you eyes and you are still aware. Which really means that even if all your senses were shutdown, you will still be aware. Your awareness is not dependent on your senses, rather your senses are dependent on you for awareness. Between heartbeats, you are still aware. Vision is interrupted by blinking of eyes, awareness is still there, uninterrupted.

If it is so simple, why don't I understand it ?
When you see, your attention is on the objects appearing in your sight. When you hear, your attention is on the sounds. We take an extraordinary interest in all that appears in our sensory perceptions, including our bodies. Remember, our bodies are only known to us via our sensory perceptions. When the sense of 'I' arises, there's a 'You' that is automatically created. If there is a thought of good, then there is bad, if there is right, there is also a wrong.

Throughout your life, you search for happiness in external objects, activities or thoughts. Turn that search inwards and ultimately you will find what is permanent, bliss. All that appears to be merely proves that you are awareness. Draw your focus or attention away from what that appears and realize what they point to - awareness. Then abide in your awareness.

I think I understand. Is that enough ?
No, since the mind fools you by the thought 'I understand' and then the next moment you are back to your normal way of life. It is only when you realize that there is no I, then true knowledge or absolute awareness will remain. Until then, you continue on your journey to self-discovery. This can only happen by becoming aware of awareness and then abiding in it. Self-realization or enlightenment, when it happens, is not a thought.


What is the meaning or purpose of life ? If there was a God, why is there sorrow and suffering? Etc. Etc.
All questions are nothing but thoughts, thoughts that you are aware of. Be aware of your awareness, discover your real Self and the questions will all disappear.

Why is Brahman said to be Sat-Chit-Ananda (Existence-Awareness-Bliss) ?
Remember, all scriptures insist that the truth has to be experienced by you, so you must investigate this from your perspective alone. All that you have read, heard or other people, books etc. are known to you only via perception of your senses, so you have to get beyond that and discover it for yourself. This goes for whatever your Guru might have told you.

When you are 'awake', you discover that there is awareness of every action, thought or object. This awareness is always with you, even though the actions, thoughts or objects keep changing. Awareness is constant while everything else is not. The sense of 'I am' is also there during this phase.

When you are dreaming, you are aware of yourself in the dream, there is still that sense of 'I am', but of a dream body, people and places. Awareness continues to be there.

You don't remember anything of your deep sleep period, except of a vague recollection of deep peace when you wake up. There is no sense of 'I am' in deep sleep. Which really means that there is nothing external to be aware of. Awareness is still there, but without any objects, thoughts, feelings or emotions. In this state, there is just awareness alone. Only then, when you wake up, or the sense of 'I am' returns, it is instantly recognized.

If you ponder over this, you realize that awareness is constant and not dependent on any thing else, including the sense of 'I am'. Hence, awareness is called the Absolute Truth, because it alone is changeless, therefore real. It is not born, it doesn't die, it is formless. You also realize that through all this, there is existence, otherwise there wouldn't be anyone to conduct a self-enquiry. This existence doesn't depend on any external object, form or shape. The realization of and abiding in this absolute existence and absolute awareness (not dependent on anything external) results in bliss. This is why the Truth, or the One, or Brahman is said to be Sat-Chit-Ananda.

Another way to look at it from your own perspective is that you are always aware of awareness. When you think you are seeing, you are actually aware of the awareness of seeing. In hearing, you are aware of the awareness of hearing. In dreaming, waking, walking or talking, you are aware of the awareness of those things. Which really means that all there is awareness of awareness, since it is not dependent on any other object. That is why Brahman is said to be self-aware, or that awareness can know only awareness. This is also your direct experience without you consciously recognizing it.

Why is the world called an illusion ? It certainly doesn't seem that way to me.
You have to understand this point very carefully. It is an illusion only from the perspective of the Absolute. As long as there is the sense of 'I am', the world is very very real. Only when you realize that there is no I, only awareness, and continue to abide in that awareness, then the world is known to be an illusion. This statement doesn't give you a free license to do anything you please, since the world is very real for you. Similarly, from the perspective of the Absolute, there is no right or wrong, good or bad, since the Absolute alone is. But, from a normal human perspective, there is this and that, right and wrong and one will reap what one sows.

Alternatively, the world is called unreal since everything is constantly changing. The definition of Truth is that it doesn't change, ever. Your body is not the one you were born with. The body you wake up with is not the one that you slept with, it has changed a bit. The body of every person, animal is constantly changing. Even inanimate objects are changing. What changes can not be real or Truth.

Why is it said that the universe exists in one's mind ?

Who witnesses your dreams ? Only you, but the you that is not the physical body or the senses. While the dream world and the dream 'I' feels very real, you realize upon waking up that it was just a projection of your mind.

Why are you convinced that the physical world exists ? Because it feels very real, you can see, feel, hear objects. But all this seeing, hearing, tasting, smelling or tasting is just perception of your senses. You conclude the existence of your spouse, children, parents or friends but only through perception of your senses. Perceptions are nothing but thoughts, thoughts are the nature of mind. So everything you think exists, or you perceive or you think you know are nothing but thoughts in your mind.

Suddenly, you are confronted with the fact that the waking world suddenly seems exactly like the dream world, since you are the only witness. Everyone one else who can convince you otherwise can only be a perception. All perceptions are in your mind.

That is the reason the universe is said to exist only in your mind. When you sleep, the physical universe disappears, replaced by a dream world. In deep sleep, the mind shuts down and nothing whatsoever exists except you, awareness.

Remember, this is all from your own perspective. If you think that other people saw you sleeping, that a clock showed how long you slept, how do you think you conclude the existence of that someone or the clock ? Only by your sensory perceptions or thoughts. Advaita guides you to rely only on your direct experience, only through that you'll know the truth.

What about Yoga or Pranayama ?
All asanas are for the body and they'll surely ensure your physical well being until you discover the truth. There are many varieties of breathing exercises, the supreme form of which is inhaling, retention and then exhaling of breath in a certain ratio. It is also said that the breath retention or Kumbhaka is most important and that one is connected to the universe in that period. Yogis attempt to stay in Kumbhaka for as long as they can, including inducing samadhi.

However, the knowledge of Advaita prepares you to understand the intent of Pranayama to actually utilize it for self-enquiry, or abiding in the source, as Ramana Maharshi said. Without proper understanding, ordinary meditation or pranayama give you peace for that duration but you are brought back rudely to life and the world after that period. Realize that when you stop and retain your breath, you are actually trying to identify with the awareness that exists then. Shift your focus and intent away from how long you can retain your breath to the awareness that exists during retention. Stay focused on that awareness as you inhale or exhale. Slowly, you'll feel that you are merging with that awareness, the breath simply seems to come and go. As you continue to stay with that awareness, you will realize that for certain periods you aren't even aware of your breathing. With some practice, you can do this anytime during the day, as you pull back your attention from whatever activity you are engaged in. The focus is not on the breath, or how you breathe, but on awareness that precedes each breath and remains during and after.

How do I conduct my daily life if I'm practicing all this ?
As you have been doing, but keep being aware of your awareness. The only helpful hint is that since there is only 'One Self', if you hurt someone, think bad of someone etc, your are doing it to your Self (Atman). If you donate, you give to your Self, if you steal, you steal from your Self. Your inner guidance or inner voice usually does a great job in guiding you along the right path.

I have read this, or some Guru told me that, or that the Vedas can also be interpreted in this way ?
All that you have read or heard are nothing but perceptions in your mind. The nature of mind is thoughts, thoughts and more thoughts. Ignore what your think you know. The Truth can only be experienced, and only by yourself.

But it is so difficult, people have spent a lifetime and have not succeeded. How can I do it ?
All these are thoughts in your mind, aren't they? The belief about spiritual books, other people or thoughts of difficulty are exactly that, perceptions and thoughts, that you are aware of. Be aware of your awareness and let Divine Grace guide you. If it helps, before you start your practice of being aware of your awareness and abiding in it, recite the Gayatri Mantra, understanding the meaning that you are calling to the Divine Light that is present in all things and in you, to guide you as you meditate on it. Then, be aware of your awareness and stay with it.

Do I need to read more books, go for Satsangs etc.?
They are all helpful, including yoga, prayer etc, but only to an extent. There are probably different paths for everyone, find one that resonates well with you. Advaita is the direct path, a short-cut to realizing your true identity, but this self enquiry must be relentless. When the time is right, when all apparent effort is stopped, when the mind has completely ceased by abiding one's self firmly in awareness, the truth will reveal itself.

What about faith or devotion to God ? Is there a right way to devotion ?
Absolutely. Perhaps an easier path for many. The right way to practice devotion is to acknowledge the presence of a God, believing that He/She is Absolute, all there is, in everything including the devotee. That all actions, events and situations are controlled by God, that the devotee has nothing under his control. The devotee feels deeply that God abides in his heart and guides every action, thought of his. Over time, the devotee realizes that there is no difference between him and God, he loses his identity in God. Then, God alone is, the identity of the devotee merged with Him. The path of Advaita leads to the same conclusion, but in a different way. There are many paths, all lead to the same conclusion in the end.

But, I have so many other questions !
In Douglas Adam's book, The Hitchhiker's guide to the Galaxy, the computer finds 42 as the answer to the meaning of life, universe and everything. That answer shocks everyone who had assembled to hear it. The computer asserts that the answer is absolutely correct, it's only that the question was wrong.

Similarly, most questions will merely lead you astray, the answers to which will fill you up with what has been termed Avidya, Ajnana or nescience. Ramana Maharshi asserted that only the question worth asking is 'Who am I' or only the desire to discover your true identity can succeed. At some point, all quest needs to be stopped, for only when the mind is completely vanquished, truth will reveal itself.